Love You... Bunches and Bunches

So very thankful...

I plucked up the courage to finally go with my mom to visit my grandma in her assisted living home today, after weeks of finding reasons not to, because I was too nervous and afraid to be around her. I was pleasantly surprised with how well our trip went today! No, she's not as healthy as she was even six months ago, and yes, her dementia sometimes has me wondering what goes on inside her head - if she's still "in there" or not, and it can be sad that she doesn't have the same spark, the same sharp wit she used to - but she's still my grandma. She still loves me, and she still remembers who I am, which really is all that matters. Everything else is my problem, not hers. So today, getting to spend time with her and my mom at her hair and nail appointment, and at lunch, was truly a blessing. All I had to do was slow down long enough and take the time to pay attention and listen to be given reasons to smile. She loves me "bunches and bunches" in her words. And when I told her that I got straight A's this semester, just expecting a smile and an ok, she smiled and said ok... but then, after a pause, she grinned at me and said, "You got straight A's? That's wonderful!". That moment alone was reason enough for me to be glad that I took the time to visit her, instead of wasting my time at home feeling guilty.

In light of the events of last week, during a time when so many families are mourning, and don't have the opportunity to be with one another, I'm glad that I have so many opportunities to spend with my loved ones. I've passed up too many of those opportunities, and I'm thankful that I still have time to take advantage of the ones that occur. A lot of people don't have that opportunity - none of us know what tomorrow will bring, we don't know how many opportunities we will have to tell someone we love them, to sit with them and hold their hand, to share a joke and a laugh together. Subconsciously we are aware of this, but so often we still waste time, still put off visiting loved ones or calling them up - we think we're too busy, or whatever the case may be, and that we will always have another opportunity to make up for lost time. Especially during the hectic-ness of the holiday season - the parties, the shopping, the wrapping, etc. it's easy to put off what's really important. As we saw from last Friday's events, we don't always have the opportunity. Why in the world would you wait any longer to take time out of your schedule to spend time with someone you love, that you haven't seen or talked to in awhile?

I love my family and I realize more and more the older I get how blessed I am by them. So in the course of this holiday season, while I'm finishing up paintings, wrapping presents, scheduling times to meet up with friends who are in town, leaving town, or visiting, going to Church services and Christmas parties, running errands and preparing for a new semester of school, I am making a promise to not put aside time with my family, to make them a priority, and to remind myself what's really important, this time and every time of the year.

♥