Rainy Friday

Today's been kind of a "blah" day. Last night on my way to class, my service engine light came on in my car, so for the better part of today it was in the shop, getting a new fuel pump. I'm thankful for my car, but since we bought it the beginning of August, we've taken it in for various reasons a total of 3 times. I'm starting to worry about the longevity of it.

It probably hasn't helped my emotional health that I've just been on my own most of the day at home, not really doing anything productive. That tends to bring me down. But something that definitely hasn't helped is watching the news through the course of the day. I know its standard fodder for the daily news, but for some reason the seemingly endless stream of violence, crime, injustice, etc. really got to me today. An estranged boyfriend/husband taking the life of his wife, her coworker, and himself, and attempting to kill his wife's friend, someone burying a helpless puppy alive, a man taking his own life after a car chase, the news catching it live.... It's sad that we watch these things and basically just go, "Oh great, look what happened today. Jeez." And then go about our days! We're desensitized to these things, and that's not okay.

It's probably not healthy to dwell too much on things like these, but when I sit and I think about all of the horrible things that we as humans commit every single day, it breaks my heart. We are one of the only species capable of maliciously, with forethought and premeditation, emotionally/physically/psychologically/etc. harming our fellows. Why are we so often filled with so much hate?

In all honesty, some days it just makes me want to throw up my hands and say, I'm Done. But that's not an option, especially not as a follower of Christ. No, I may not be able to save everyone, I may not be able to see justice for everyone, I may not even be able to influence many people's lives. But I can do the best I can in my small sphere of influence. I can treat those I see with kindness, love, and respect, I can be the best friend, daughter, student I can be, I can make my life mean something, even if I only put one ripple into the sea, its one more ripple than was there before. I just have to keep reminding myself that, otherwise it's not even worth waking up in the morning.